


If Your Heart Wears Thin

by Juudals



Series: Hold You Up [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Lukanette Month 2019, Prompts all connected, prompt collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 05:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20737247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juudals/pseuds/Juudals
Summary: "I like to think we met for a reason. If something like that does exist, maybe there's a reason a string connects us. I'm not going to get my hopes up on that, but I think she brings something in my life I need right now. She makes me happy. Motivated in a way I haven't been for awhile. I'm curious about her and want to know her. Our relationship means a lot to me. I hope we can maintain that. Even if our string isn't the red one, I want it to stay strong enough that it won't break beyond repair. I'll support her and be there when she needs me. I think I can do that much.”|Lukanette Month Prompts|I DO NO GIVE PERMISSION FOR THESE STORIES TO BE ON ANY SITE/APP OTHER THAN AO3





	1. Strings

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna start putting my Lukanette Month stuff on here!
> 
> I still have some catching up to do since I've been busy with other projects but will definitely get the rest I have planned up!  
I wasn't originally gonna do the Strings prompt but after Desperada came out, I needed to vent somewhat ^^;

“You're hovering, Juleka.”

Luka heard his sister grumble as he called out to her. He moved his pick down across the strings of his guitar, frowning when it still didn't sound how he wanted it to despite spending the last while trying to tune it.

With a sigh, he put it down for now as Juleka walked over and sat in the chair next to him after pulling it closer.

“I wasn't hovering,” She muttered.

“Sure you weren't. I thought you were gonna lay down until mom got home?” Luka leaned back and looked up at the cloudy sky. “If you're not gonna crash, help me move some stuff around. If it storms, don't need the boat tossing everything if the water gets rough.”

“Uh, maybe later. There's something I...I wanted to talk about.” Juleka crossed her arms, her eyes trained to the floor.

“What's wrong?”

“Are you...are you doing okay?”

“Yeah?” Luka felt like there was more to her question but he couldn't figure out what she meant. “Why do you ask?”

“I mean...” Juleka took a deep breath. She seemed to be steeling herself for something and finally looked up. “You've been kinda closed off. You've been spending time alone more than usual. I'm...I'm kinda worried. Are you upset about last week?”

Luka felt his hand twitch. He knew right away what his sister was getting at. He felt a flash of irritation that he quickly smothered. She was worried. Of course she'd bring it up.

“I'm fine, Jule. Maybe a bruised ego but I'm okay.” He smiled warily. He still remembered that day even though it's been over a week now. He thought things were going fine between him and Marinette but then Adrien showed up with Kagami. After that, the model was the only one she had eyes for.

“...I wish you would get mad.” Juleka surprised him by saying.

“Last time I got mad, I got turned into someone that stole peoples voices,” Luka pointed out. “Me getting angry doesn't always end well.”

“I said get mad, not full on rage,” Juleka shook her head. “I mean, just...why are you acting so chill about it. No one would blame you for getting upset.”

“I already know how Marinette feels about Adrien. I can't get too upset about something I already know.”

“So you're okay with how she treated you?” Luka grimaced. Unfortunately, Juleka caught it. “Thought so. Why do you try acting like it doesn't bother you?”

This had to be something Juleka was feeling strongly about if she was this determined to talk about it and keep at it. Part of Luka wanted to admire that carrying side of her but the rest of it was bothered by it. He couldn't blame her though. Maybe this was something they had to discuss.

He leaned forward, trying to gather his thoughts together. He started to spin his ring to give his hands something to do. He wondered how he could get his point across to his sister so she'd understand.

“Do...Do you remember when Rose was super into that Prince Ali guy?”

Juleka jolted in place. She shifted, clearly uncomfortably and surprised he'd bring that up right now.

“Uh, yeah. Kinda hard to forget...”

“You stayed by her side throughout that, even when it hurt sometimes. Because you cared about your relationship with her, right?”

Luka still remembered the nights Juleka cried. How hard she tried to hide the fact she was crying. Most of the time, Luka pretended not to notice for her sake. He'd play her favourite tune in the next room, hoping it would calm her heart even a little so she could get some sleep. But there was still times when he'd go over to her side of the room and just hug her, letting her know she wasn't alone. Having a crush could be hard on its own, but when it was your best friend who was clearly interested in someone else...he didn't know how to help his little sister through that.

Juleka nodded. She started to tuck some of her hair back before seeming to catch herself and dropped her hand.

“Yeah...” She said slowly. “I...I didn't want her to think I wouldn't be there for her. Since getting his attention meant a lot to her. But this and that are different, aren't they?”

“How so?”

“I mean...Like, I've known Rose for a long time now. So it...it kinda made more sense for me to stick through those moments with her. And it worked out in the end, we're together now but...” Juleka clasped her hands together. Luka glanced down to see her pick at the ends of her glove and then slide her finger across the mirror charm.

“But...?” he prompted. That seemed to snap her out of her thoughts.

“You two...you and Marinette...you've only met her a few months ago. I know you've been interested in her from the start but...why do you put up with so much?” Juleka looked up and Luka was surprised at how upset she looked. “She...she likes someone else. You...you don't exactly discourage her from going after Adrien. And last week, she...that was mean. I know Marinette isn't like that, she's always so nice but she was mean to you.”

“I don't think being outright mean was her intention, Jule.” Luka pointed out.

“I don't care!” Juleka snapped. Luka gave her a look and she took a deep breath. She stared at the ground and started to fidget with her glove. “Sorry. I just...I hated it. She ignored you the moment Adrien came over...then acted like she's never seen you with a guitar before. I just...I don't understand...”

Luka couldn't help but smile a little bitterly. If he was being honest, he didn't fully understand either. He's had crushes before this. Fallen hard once before. But if there's something he'd been starting to realize, people feel things differently and to many different degrees. He picked up pretty quickly that Marinette felt her emotions very strongly. The good and the bad ones. Sometimes they seemed to overflow and overwhelm her before she could put a lid on them to contain them. He found it endearing but as he learned recently, it had it's repercussions.

“I don't really get it either. Not exactly,” He admitted. “Hey, do you believe in destiny, Juleka?”

She gave him a pure baffled look.

“Uh, I don't know? Not really, I guess.”

“I don't really either,” Luka shrugged. He started spinning his ring again and looked out to the water. “I read a short story for class once. It was about how people are connected to different types of strings. You're tied to people who'll be an influence in your life, even if it seems something small and mundane.”

“You think Marinette is your red string?” Juleka wrinkled her nose at him. He gave a short laugh.

“I didn't say that. Let me finish,” He flicked her across on her fingers and she hissed at him, pulling her hand back as she rubbed the spot he hit. “I do like Marinette a lot. I don't exactly hide it.”

“So you are aware of that...” Juleka muttered and leaned back when Luka reached for her.

“As I was _saying_-” Luka rolled his eyes. “I know Marinette likes Adrien. Yeah, it hurts sometimes. That day really hurt. A lot. Not even as someone liking her, just as a friend that stuff hurt. It still hurts to think about right now.”

“So why put up with it?”

“The same reason you would put up with Rose when she had a crush on Prince Ali. I care about her. Our relationship means a lot to me. I don't know what our future holds. I...” he took a deep breath. “I don't know if I would handle it the same way if it happens a second time. I hated feeling helpless and so unseen like that. When I told Marintte how I felt about her, I really didn't expect much in return. I just wanted her to know what I thought about her. But it still hurts at times. I've actually been making excuses not to hang out with her since then.”

“I didn't know...honestly, I thought you'd always drop everything to go see her if she called.” Juleka admitted with a shrug.

“Even I have my limit. A need to distance for a bit to get my thoughts back in order,” Luka looked down. “Anyway, back to the strings thing. I...I like to think we met for a reason. If something like that does exist, maybe there's a reason a string connects us. I'm not going to get my hopes up on that, but I think she brings something in my life I need right now. She makes me happy. Motivated in a way I haven't been for awhile. I'm curious about her and want to know her. Our relationship means a lot to me. I hope we can maintain that. Even if our string isn't the red one, I want it to stay strong enough that it won't break beyond repair. I'll support her and be there when she needs me. I think I can do that much.”

“What if she doesn't pick you? Or your just a second choice?” Juleka's voice turned quiet. Luka took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“If she doesn't want to be with me, I can't fight her on that. If she does, well...I don't...I don't really know what I'd do. I'd want to know what changed. I'm crazy about her but I won't be a rebound. That's not fair to either of us. So I'd probably wait awhile so she was sure she actually wanted to be with me.” He ran a hand through his hair. Suddenly he felt like he was throwing salt into his own wounds. “I just...I just want her to smile. I won't back down since I do want to be together, but I won't make myself unhappy doing it. If it gets to the point that being there for her is too much, I'll pull back a bit.”

“You're weird.” Juleka said bluntly. “But...I'm also kinda glad hearing that you're serious about this. Even if I don't really get why you are. You're too selfless at times but now you're really trying to see if something's there.”

“Won't now till you try. You tried with Rose, I think I should at least do the same,” Luka smiled softly. “By the way...I'm sorry, Jule.”

“What for?”

“Marinette's a close friend of yours. I know this has to be awkward for you.”

“...it is. I can't say I really like being in the middle of this. I don't want you to get hurt.” Juleka brought her legs up and hugged them tight. “I don't...I don't think I can do the same stuff for her as before. I want to support Marinette but...it feels weird. Trying to help the others plan her and Adrien getting together and knowing you like her. I can't...I can't do that. It doesn't feel...right, anymore.”

“I don't want you to be caught in the middle. If it really upsets you, I'll back-”

“No. Don't bother,” Juleka cut him off. “If you're...if you're really serious about her, I think you should try. And you said you know your limits. So I'm okay with it. Kinda. It's weird but I won't get in the way.”

“...thanks, sis.” Luka felt a weight come off his shoulders. Finally hearing from her that she was mostly okay with this was a bigger relief than he thought it would be. Guess he valued her input more than he originally thought. “So we done talking about this? No offense but I want to drop it. For now, anyway.”

“Yeah, I won't ask anymore. For now.” Juleka stood and looked up at the sky with a frown. “...okay, those are scary clouds. Maybe we should move some stuff...”

“Told you.”

They got started on moving the stuff that was needed down below. It gave Luka a chance to think over this conversation.

He didn't regret his feelings for Marinette, even though he did feel bad for getting his sister worried over it. He doesn't regret how he feels but a small part of him wished he was able to put a better lid on them. Or maybe express them better. Be more selfish and forward about them. It made his head tangled in a way he wasn't used to. It was different from the usual anxiety he would get and made his highs and lows feel off.

He was crazy about Marinette. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted to be with her. Somehow, he had to find a balance to all that. It was going to hurt at times-it always _was_ hurting-but he really couldn't say he regret any of it.

He wondered what colour their string was. Maybe it wasn't red but that didn't have to be a bad thing. Violet seemed like a good colour. He wondered if there was any meaning to that.

As if following his train of thought, Juleka suddenly asked, “Hey, Luka. What kind of string do you think Rose and I have?”

“You two? Red. Definitely red.”

“What about Mom and Jagged?”

“....honestly, I have no clue. I don't think I want to have a clue about it actually.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean.”


	2. Melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re really similar, Luka realized one day. The melody he’d get from Marinette and the glimpses he’d get from Ladybug weren’t too different. Both sincere and clear, though at different tempos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do some changes with my version of Marinette. She has Black hair/Grey eyes and then as Ladybug, her hair and eyes get the blue tones she has in canon, also her hair and ribbons are longer.

They’re really similar, Luka realized one day. The melody he’d get from Marinette and the glimpses he’d get from Ladybug weren’t too different. Both sincere and clear, though at different tempos.

Marinette’s is as more steady and even, with the odd highs and lows thrown in.

Ladybug’s was quicker, the highs and lows more pronounced.

It was an interesting parallel, one Luka couldn’t shake as he worked alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir when asked to handle the Snake Miraculous. At first, he could ignore it. Set the idea aside. It wasn't the first time he's gotten a similar vibe from different people. He's learned that even complete strangers can have a weird familiarity to them. People could be as much the same as they are different. It's what made it so difficult for him to talk to others with his words. He never was sure at times how to approach people and sometimes made mistakes that he was awkward with even now.

So he figured this was the usual case. Just an odd familiarity he sometimes got from Ladybug and it wasn't exactly surprising. Though Ladybug's hair had a blueish shine to it, it was still in the same still as Marinette's black hair, just with long ribbons instead of normal hair ties. At some point while working together, he noticed Ladybug had blue eyes instead of Marinette's greyish ones.

Similar but different. That's how he started thinking of them as. At first.

Then Luka saw a photo of him that was taken for that Ladyblog. He's hair had changed to a green tone that became more apparent where he's blue tips usually were. Even his eyes changed to green that matched the outfit he wore as Viperion.

He never saw how he looked in his hero form.

But then it made him think back to Ladybug. What is she went through a similar change when she changed? What if Chat Noir did, too?

It made Luka curious. If ones appearance could change like that, he wondered if the melodies he sometimes felt changed also. It made his curiousity grow.

He wanted to ask Ladybug about it.

He wanted to ask Marinette about it.

The nagging feeling in his chest made him wonder if that what even okay to do though.

“Hey, Ladybug...there’s something I want to ask.”

“Go ahead, I’ll try my best to answer if I can.”

They were out of a patrol together. Things had been calm lately, oddly so. Chat thought it was a sign that Hawkmoth was finally backing off but Ladybug felt it was more like a calm before the storm.

So it was decided the hero's would take turns for shifts, even the temporary hero's.

Tonight was Viperion's turn with Ladybug. Their time together was almost up so Luka used this chance to ask what's been on his mind for weeks now.

“...how dangerous would it be if your identity got out?”

“Oh...” Clearly caught off guard, Ladybug held onto her arm as she turned slightly away. It was odd to see her look uneasy like this but still oddly familiar. “It...it would be very dangerous. I don’t...I don’t know what Hawkmoth would if he found out about it. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of that. Since I know everyone’s identity but Chat Noirs, it could be especially dangerous if I was compromised. It’s why I make sure everyone knows why we can't reveal our identities. The risk is too high.”

“Is that why you take back the Miraculous' from the rest of us? To keep them safe.”

“Yes...I know it doesn't seem fair. Chat and I keep ours all the time but you and the others don't but...it's for the best. For now, anyway.”

“I see...” Luka said quietly. It made sense now that he really thought it through and could hear her side of things. He couldn't imagine what other secrets she had to protect on her own. It was an even more sensitive topic than he first thought. “Okay. I understand, I won't ask again.”

Ladybug looked up at him, her expression baffled.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a heavy burden you’re carrying, but I can hear the pride you have to be able to do this. I...I think I understand why you’re the one. You have a sincere heart, Ladybug. I’m glad I get to know this side of you. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For trusting me enough to help you when you need it. It...it means a lot. I don't...really know how to express how much it means to me but I want you to know I appreciate it.” Luka smiled.

“I appreciate you too Lu-” Ladybug stopped herself in time. He wondered if he imagined the redness on the visible parts of her face or if it was just light reflecting off her mask. “I-I mean, Viperion. For helping me. And Chat. I don't think I can...I can't express it either. Not...not how I want to but it means a lot to me, too.”

Luka felt it then. He was sure of it. The similar melodies melted together. Soft and gentle. A little unsteady but still smooth.

He was positive that his theory was right. There was too many similarities and too many coincidences to ignore. It only made sense that Marinette and Ladybug were the same person.

Luka knew that deep down, he hated the idea of her in so much danger. He hates thinking of how many secrets she has to keep to protect herself and everyone else. He didn't want her to carry so much on her own.

So Luka decided then and there to be there for her when he can. She trusted him enough to keep asking for his help. She trusted him both as a hero and in her civilian life. As much as he wanted to let her know he knew now, that she didn't have to hide a part of herself around him, he understood now he shouldn’t add to the stress that might give her. Maybe one day she’ll tell him herself.

Until then, he'd continue to support her. Both as Luka Couffaine and Viperion.


	3. Earrings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I won't understand if you don't explain,” Luka closed his eyes. Marinette wondered if she hit a nerve and felt her regret grow. When Luka opened his eyes, he almost had a different air to him. “Calm your breathing or you'll make yourself sick getting upset like this. If you want, I can help you find them. But I need you to explain to me what happened. How did you lose them?”
> 
> “I...I...” Her eyes burned. Finally, she could feel the tears start to fall. Her body felt weak and she was sure if it wasn't for Luka's hold, she'd be back on the ground. “I messed up, Luka. I don't know how to fix this and it's all my fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually the very first thing I started working on for Lukanette Month and originally the only one I planned on doing at first!  
I'm really happy with how it turned out, I really wanted to explore angst/hurt/comfort with Marinette and really glad this gave me the chance to do that!

Marinette stumbled forward, catching herself at the last second by grabbing onto the railing. The blood was pounding in her ears, her heart racing too quickly in her chest. Her lungs ached as much as her muscles did. Her body felt hot and cold and so many things at once that she couldn't focus on what hurt more.

Touched her ear and felt a shock go through her.

They really were bare.

Her earrings were gone.

Tikki was gone.

_Tikki was gone-_

“No...” Marinette shook her head. “No, no, no, no-!”

She had to find Tikki. She had to get the earrings back. She needed to find Tykki, she had to help her, she had to-

“Marinette?”

Her name suddenly being called out startled her so much she was amazed she didn't fall over.

She turned around, wincing at the pain it brought to her ankle. Had she hurt it without realizing after...

“Lu-Luka...what...what are you doing here?”

She wasn't near the docks. Or..she was sure she wasn't...

Luka looked as confused as she felt. She wondered how she looked in his eyes right now. Probably exhausted. Her hair had to be a mess.

“I was at a friends place, he lives nearby...” He pointed in a vague direction though his concerned gaze never left her. “Is everything okay? You're not looking so good.”

“Ye-Yeah, I'm fine! Just got-uh-a little frazzled. There was an Akuma fight while I was out for a walk so I took off and got a little lost but I know where I'm going now so-”

Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.

Marinette repeated the thought in her head. If she just kept talking, she could keep focused enough to slip away. All she had to do was walk passed Luka without him-

She blinked.

Her knees were throbbing painfully, matching the sting in her hands.

When had she ended up on the ground?

“Marinette!”

Luka dropped his bag and was quick to her side. Marinette was still trying to figure out what just happened and mumbled something about his bag getting dirty.

“Don't worry about that,” Luka shook his head. “What's wrong? Did you get hurt from the Akuma?”

“No, I...I'm just tired...”

So tired.

So, so tired.

In that moment, Marinette wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed and sleep away this exhaustion hitting her. She wanted to forget everything that just happened, she wanted to sleep away everything and wake to Tikki floating nearby laughing at her bedhead and-

Marinette jumped to her feet.

“I-I have to go-!”

She had to look for Tikki. How could she even think of sleep? What was wrong with her? She had to find her, she-

She stumbled forward. Luka, visibly startled by her sudden movements, stood up with her.

“Whoa,” he held onto her arms, steadying her. “You shouldn't move like that. Marinette, what's going on?”

“My earrings-I'm sorry, Luka, I really need to go and find them! It's an emergency!” Marinette shook her head sharply. “I lost them and I have to find them, if I don't then-then...”

A sob escaped her lips before she could force it away. Saying it out loud made it feel so final. She really lost them. She let them get taken. Let Tikki get taken and she didn't know where she was now and she had to save her and-

“Hey,” Luka's calm voice cut through her thoughts like a wave. He squeezed her shoulders, bending down slightly to get her attention. “Marinette, you're talking too fast so I can't follow-”

“You don't understand Luka! I have to find them, I can't lose them, I promised her, I promised I'd keep them safe!”

Her frustration was building. She's never yelled at him like this, at anyone this way before. Not like this, not so desperately and feeling so broken inside and she hated herself for snapping like this.

“I won't understand if you don't explain,” Luka closed his eyes. Marinette wondered if she hit a nerve and felt her regret grow. When Luka opened his eyes, he almost had a different air to him. “Calm your breathing or you'll make yourself sick getting upset like this. If you want, I can help you find them. But I need you to explain to me what happened. How did you lose them?”

“I...I...” Her eyes burned. Finally, she could feel the tears start to fall. Her body felt weak and she was sure if it wasn't for Luka's hold, she'd be back on the ground. “I messed up, Luka. I don't know how to fix this and it's all my fault.”

* * *

Turns out, they really weren't far from the docks. It wasn't long until Marinette found herself in the sitting room on the Liberty. She hadn't realized how dirty her clothes were until Luka asked if she wanted to change into something Juleka has so she could feel more comfortable.

“You sure Juleka won't mind...?”

“You're her friend and having a bad day. Trust me, she won't mind.”

So now she sat on the couch in a baggy purple shirt and black sweatpants that had cute gray swirls on the legs. If she had been in a better mindset, she would've asked Luka if he knew where Juleka got them.

“Here.”

Luka held out a steaming cup to her. It was warm and smelt nice. She took a tentative sip and was relieved it wasn't too hot.

“I thought Chamomile might be best,” Luka sat next next to her with his own cup. “How are you feeling?”

“Slight-slightly better...” Marinette held the cup a little tighter to keeps her hands from obviously shaking. “Thank you, Luka.”

“It's no problem. Really.” Luka reassured her.

Silence fell between them. Not exactly strained but a slight awkwardness was still there. It wasn't until their cups were almost empty that Luka finally spoke up.

“So those earrings...they're really important to you, huh?”

“Yeah...a friend...a really important friend gave them to me. I promised her I'd keep them safe. I...I don't know how she'll ever forgive me for losing them like this. They were her whole world and I let them...get taken like that...”

“So they're sentimental...I understand why you're so upset losing them,” Luka flickered his gaze down to his ring, spinning it around his finger. “Those earring...they're not something you can just replace, right? They're special?”

“...Very special. They...they can never be replaced.” Marinette placed her cup on the bin that was being used as a makeshift table. She brought her legs up on the couch and hugged them tightly.

“Can I ask how you lost them? You said they were taken...so they were stolen? How did that happen?” Luka looked even more confused now. Marinette didn't blame him. She rarely took them off, let alone leaving them lying somewhere carelessly enough to get stolen.

“I...” Marinette closed her eyes. She didn't know what to do. Her mind was racing and she felt like she had no choice now. She had to tell him. She didn't know how to tell Chat Noir. She couldn't tell Alya about it, not yet. Luka was here though. He wanted to help but she didn't know how to let him do that without telling him everything. So she steeled herself, prepared for what she would say but her voice still came out quieter than she intended, “I-I lost them fighting Hawk Moth...he has them now. Because...because I'm...I'm Ladybug.”

She explained how they fought against an Akumatized model. How her and Chat Noir got separated. How she wasn't able to use her Lucky Charm right away and her deactivation kicked in before she could move fast enough. How she got tapped and Hawk Moth suddenly showed up and took her earring off her. She told him how much she hated having him near her like that, how helpless she felt watching him take off with them and how the last look she saw on Tikki's face was fear.

Once she finished, her throat felt scratchy and rough. She wondered how long she had been talking for.

She kept her eyes shut tight, afraid to see how Luka was looking at her. Was he disappointed that the great protector of Paris wasn't this fabulous person everyone thought of her as? That she let herself lose to Hawk Moth? Or angry that's she's hid this from him despite how much time they've been spending together? Upset that she's always been lying and lying and now she's probably ruined their relationship, he probably didn't want to look at her now that she's shattered the illusion of Ladybug and-

“Hey,” Luka's soft voice cut into her thoughts. He covered her hand, making her realized how badly she was clinging to her legs now. She let out a shaky breath, slowly easing her grip and letting her feet touch the floor.

Hesitantly, she met Luka's gaze. Out of everything she tried preparing herself to see, she now found herself unable to figure out how to deal with the clear concern he had instead.

“Marinette...” He squeezed her hand. “I'm...I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry you had to go through this.”

“You're...you're not mad?”

“About what?” Luka frowned.

“I've been...I've been hiding all of this from you. And everyone else! I've always been lying and coming up with lame excuses and canceling plans! And I've known since the beginning that you were Viperion while keeping you and the others in the dark about me. I wouldn't...I wouldn't blame you if you were mad about it. You _should_ be mad about it.”

“Why would I be?” He seemed so honestly confused that Marinette didn't know how to respond. “I asked you something once, as Viperion. I asked you what would happen if someone learned who was Ladybug. And you were honest with me then. I won't lie, I had suspicions but I never held it against you.”

“You...you had suspicions?” Marinette felt dizzy. “Wh-Why...why didn't you say anything?”

“Because you said it was dangerous. Whether I was right or wrong, if someone overheard me asking you about it, it could have hurt you. I...I did want to ask. I won't lie about that. But I couldn't compromise someone's safety because I was curious and had a hunch.”

“How...how did you know?” This time, Luka gave a small smile.

“A brave girl that jumps a little ahead of herself sometimes but selfless to the point she takes on a little too much. There aren't many people as good as you are. Your appearance might change up a little, but it wasn't too hard to start putting things together when we started hanging out more.”

He made it sound so simple. That just from spending time together and getting to know her, it made it clear who she really was. It made her heart ache.

“...I don't think I'm as good as Ladybug. Not really. I'm...I'm not as good as her without the mask.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Ladybug...Ladybug can't make mistakes. But _I _did. If I did better as Ladybug, then Marinette wouldn't have failed Tikki. I can't do anything now. I don't know how to help her. I can't...I can't do anything like this...”

Marinette's eyes widened. It was starting to dawn on her how badly she messed up now. Not only did she fail Tikki, she failed Paris. Anything could happen now. Hawk Moth had two Miraculous' at his control, he had one of the most powerful ones in hand now. Anything could happen and she couldn't stop it. Not anymore. She can't do anything now and next could be any of her loved ones in danger because he knew her now and her parents or friends or teachers or-

“Hey, Marinette. Do you think I'm not as good when I'm not being Viperion? Or that as Viperion, it makes me less as a person when I'm Luka?”

“What?” It took a minute to clear her head and process what he had asked. Once she did, she felt her heart drop. Had she made him think he wasn't good enough? “No! Of course not, why would I think that!?”

“Then why do you talk like that's the case for you?” Luka looked her then and Marinette doesn't think she'd ever seen him look so serious. Almost angry. It stunned her and left her tongue tied. “Do you want to know what I think?”

Shakily, Marinette nodded.

“You're wrong about something. I think...I think you're way too hard on yourself. I...I understand. To a point, anyway. It's hard. Having responsibilities is hard. Frustrating. Some days, it's just hard getting out of bed knowing you have to face everything with a smile because that's what people expect from you. Whether it's as a regular person or a hero. It's all...so hard to deal with. It's way...way too much. I don't think there's even a right way to hand that kind of pressure.” Luka closed his eyes. His tone was getting an edge to it. Then he took a deep breath, the tension slowly leaving his shoulders as he opened his eyes again. “No matter what it is, it's always terrifying to mess up. Just being a teenager is terrifying. Because then it feels like all of those responsibilities are going to cave in on you.”

“It...it is terrifying...” Marinette mumbled. Luka let out a sigh and she noticed how he started spinning his ring around his finger.

“Everyone messes up. And yeah, this mess up is pretty big. But that doesn't mean you can't do anything. Marinette, you're amazing because you're you. You make it sound like you're useless when you can't be Ladybug but that's not true. Ladybug does amazing things because _you're_ amazing. Everything you are, everything Ladybug is, it's because Marinette is Marinette no matter what. Whether it's your good qualities or bad ones, they don't disappear just because you put on a mask or take it off.”

“It...it feels like it though. Before...” Marinette shook her head. “S-Sorry, I shouldn't in-interrupt you.”

“It's okay. What were you going to say?” Luka's voice was soft. For some reason, it made a couple tears fall.

“Before, when I became...I became Ladybug...I felt like I could be who I wanted to be. Even if I was so scared at first, even though I still got scared sometimes, Ladybug...She could be everything I wasn't. I didn't know how to be outgoing without being insecure about it. I struggled with a lot of things before...before being a hero like that. I was able to change because meeting Tikki gave me a chance to.”

Saying it now, Marinette started to wonder if she ever told Tikki how much meeting her meant to her. How she's changed her life. Would she ever have the chance do it now?

“...I don't think that's a bad thing. Not exactly.” Luka stared across the room, still fiddling with his ring. “Sometimes it takes a push for someone to try being better. Give them that extra motivation they need. Doing something they normally wouldn't and force themselves to test out the comfort zones. Getting those earrings was your push. Tikki was the start of you're motivation. They made you want to try harder. I know I didn't meet you until later on but...Juleka talked about you sometimes.”

“She did?”

“Her and Rose. Just here and there, when telling me stories about school. I get worried since Juleka and I don't go to the same school so I like hearing about her days. It might not have been obvious to you, but just from their stories, I think you've always had these qualities in you. You just...needed something to help you bring them more to the surface. To give you the chance to tune it and get it how you want it to be. You're a good person Marinette. I believe you can figure out how to get through this. Even without powers, you'll find a way to work this out. I have no doubt you will.”

It was so much to take in. Marinette wasn't even sure she heard it all correctly. Why did Luka think so highly of her? Why did her heart do flips and made her want to believe in his words so badly? He saw sides of her she sometimes doubted were there. He really didn't see her as one person or another. He just was Marinette. He knew she mess up, how badly the consequences were but...but he still was believing in her.

Just his words made her want to believe in that, too. That she really could make it through this without being able to become Ladybug.

Before she knew it, tears were falling once more.

“I...I thought you said you were-weren't good with words?”

“I've been trying to do better,” Luka smiled sheepishly. He grabbed some tissues that were on the makeshift end table and handed them to her. Marinette gave a weak smile and tried wiping her tears away. “I guess I found my motivation to do it. I decided to try harder communicating outside of music. Working on my words.”

“Really?”

“Really. Seeing my sister try her hardest with her class then meeting you...working with Kitty Section, I've been more motivated I guess.” Luka shrugged, probably trying to look nonchalant but Marinette could tell he was getting embarrassed. “I...I talked to my mother about it. Wanting to get my thoughts out better. Connect to people better. My school has a good counselor and she's a big help. She even found someone for me to talk to outside of school to get that extra help.”

“Does it...does it work? Counseling?” Marinette was hesitant to ask.

“It helps a lot. I didn't realize how much having someone from the outside looking in could make a difference,” Luka glanced up at the ceiling for a moment before looking at her. “I know there's a lot you can't talk about with you're hero life. There's probably some stuff you don't want to talk to me or anyone else about, right? Maybe you can think about seeing someone, too. Ease the stress you go through with your personal life at least.”

“It's tempting, honestly. Hearing how much it helped you,” Marinette admitted. “But I don't...know if I'll even be a hero anymore. Not after this...”

“Marinette.”

Luka's hand was warm and comforting on her shoulder. Like earlier, he bent down slightly to meet her eyes better, making sure he had her attention.

“You've mentioned something before about a Master. Someone that protects the Kwami's like Tikki and Sass, right?”

Silently, she nodded.

“That means there's still hope in finding a way to get your earrings and Tikki back.” He smiled softly but also looked a little bit of a smirk at the edges. “Which means we have one more person you know you can go to. All you have to do is ask for help.”

For the first time in so long, Marinette felt a weight come off her shoulders. She'd finally been able to open up to someone. Fully open up. Luka listened to everything she said. He took it in and instead of getting upset like she's always feared the people close to her would get, he listened and told her what he thought. She knew she'd upset him when talking down about herself and he made it clear how he saw her. He wasn't disillusioned that she was Ladybug. That Ladybug was her. He saw her and was offering to help support her.

Luka wanted to be there for her. He let her in on a part of him she didn't know yet. He didn't look down on her for messing up. He understood why she was struggling with being a hero and the stress of feeling like she failed.

How long has it been since she felt so at ease telling someone how she truly felt? So safe, knowing they'd still be there for her?

She knows she was starting to cry again.

“Will...will you help me, Luka?” Marinette felt her voice waver. “Will you help me save Tikki?”

“Of course,” He squeezed her shoulder and she felt a little more grounded. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”


End file.
